She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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