party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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