is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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