drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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