I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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