I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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