We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
