Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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