I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
