At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Damn victory sex feels great
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