I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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