its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
