just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
