so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
