just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize