:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
