My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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