my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
