I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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