all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He kissed a someone with a penis
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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