Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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