Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
