I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
