Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
