it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
