Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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