Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
