I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Randomize
