My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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