in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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