I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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