TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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