I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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