Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
