I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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