i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
