just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You ruined the universe
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
