I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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