Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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