O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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