GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
