we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
