I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
