Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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