She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
