What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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