just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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