pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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