i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You don't make any sense
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