im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
