you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
