I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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