...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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