So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
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I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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