It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
