doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize