i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
