alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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