Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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