he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
