maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who died my cat blue again?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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