it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
