I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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