Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
