everyone is single if you try hard enough
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
