Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
