I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
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He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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