If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
