hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
